Issue 06 — Romanticizing Everyday Moments
Notes on small ways to view life through a lens of gratitude and celebration, plus some thoughts on my favorite subject — color.
I’ve been struggling to find words for the cloud of darkness that wraps the earth right now. This issue is focused on small ways to summon more light and see more color.
To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. This is my symphony. William Ellery Channing
Celebrating Your Life
Big power lies in the ability to celebrate what you already have, rather than continuously delay gratification for an elusive ‘someday’ that sits permanently on the horizon. Without much effort, we feel a rush of excitement for whatever superfluous stuff money buys. Which can provide quick satisfaction, but to genuinely feel that same googly spark of goodness just stepping out in the sunshine? Looking at a piece of art you love? Pretty powerful. Everyone could practice more of it. Maybe this is the meaning of life? We can circle back to that.
To me, romanticizing your life is the practice of viewing it through a lens of gratitude and celebration. It’s quieting the mundane day-to-day and instead noticing and appreciating beautiful moments that already exist in your normal routine. It’s finding pleasure in the ordinary and intentionally sprinkling in little luxuries to enhance your life experience. I’m not an expert at this, but I try really hard. Everything is fleeting (too depressed sounding?), it’s nice to soak up more good bits and pieces along the ride. Some ideas:
— Eat unexpected foods with chopsticks, or your morning yogurt with a little gelato spoon. It will force you to eat slowly and more mindfully, and it’s fun to ditch a fork every once in a while. Your life is a movie!
— Hang framed polaroids, ceramic amulets, candle sconces, tiny pieces of art, or trinkets that make you happy near mirrors you look into often or light switches. Every time you turn the lights on or off, you’ll see something that brings you joy. Plus, it’s chic. Swap out average details for vibrant little touches whenever you can (see: toilet paper holder). I recently painted a plain white lamp shade, and ditched my old pepper grinder for this style which makes me laugh every time I hold it. It’s giving sex toy.
— Similarly, rearrange pieces in your home space every so often. Stack books differently, move a painting from here to there, tuck a concert ticket or love note into the corner of a mirror. Build small inspired changes around you.
— Skip the gym, dim the lights and queue a few songs that make you itch to dance. Let it rip and move that body oddy however the fuck you’re called to.
— Leave your phone behind and wander to a bakery or coffee shop you don’t frequent often. Look up and notice the sky and the trees on the way. Maybe bring a book or a journal, maybe bring a postcard to write snail mail to someone far away. Maybe ask a stranger for the time? Life used to be like this!
— Perhaps the most obvious one, but make time to give yourself some TLC. Light candles, take a long bath, build a stack of zines or coffee table books to flip through for inspiration. Oil your body head to toe and say thank you to each functioning body part. As my girl Casey Layne famously does, set an intention or cast a spell into your lotions & potions before magically applying them to your body.
— When life feels extra sticky, write a list of everything around you that you’re grateful for ( clean water! socks without holes! sunshine!) and hang it somewhere you’ll look at it often.
— Join the Be My Eyes community for unexpected moments of gratitude. This app connects blind and low-vision users who want sighted assistance with volunteers through live video when they need support. This week I answered an unexpected call from bed and spent an hour organizing a vitamin routine for Louise in Maine.
— Dress up to be at home. Throw on a sexy robe or jewelry over your sweats. Channel Auntie Mame (required viewing) while you do boring tasks.
— Linger at the table after dinner on a typically hurried weeknight. It’s easy to eat quickly, and clear the dishes quickly, almost mindlessly. Take your time and take a breath, whether solo or with loved ones.
— Buy yourself or someone you love or a stranger flowers.
— Put sparkling water into a martini glass and garnish with a twist. Eat fried rice out of a coupe. Eat ice cream out of a mug. Bundle up and sip your soup on the steps outside.
— Take the time to curate a fresh soundtrack for ordinary moments. This is a good one for commuting to work.
— Depending on where you live, get to the beach or a park or a trail. Leave your phone behind and take a slow, deep breaths once you get there.
— Go to a hardware store, stand in front of the paint chips, and pick out a few colors that speak to you. Don’t give it too much thought, just grab what you feel. Tape them in a notebook or on your fridge. This is your current color pallet, and it’s beautiful.
Coming Back to Color
An important recurring theme in my journaling and worldview has always been color. A few times a year, I go to a hardware store and stare at the paint chips. I pretend I’m coloring walls, when I’m really trying to tie colors to where I’m at. Each special person in my life and phase I go through ends up having a color story. I’ve kept the bundles of collected paint chips over the years, dated them, and will someday frame them in a way that tells the story of me. There are many charming books on color stories and ways to get inspired by color. While I practice more comfort with vulnerability, here’s some writing on the subject. Maybe this helps you see a little more color.
coming back to color
crimson sun-warmed tomato skin
muted pink juice dripping down forearms
cherry-scented chapstick
ruby red glitter shoes
rainbows everywhere
putting down the paintbrush
to take in every shade of purpleish brown
from giving each color time on paper
but always coming back to red
a dining room of aubergine & apple green
my own lavender walls against a chartreuse chair
until they were light blue, a nectarine blanket
studying the unexpected ways
two opposites can feel good together
growing through life
colors at the forefront
the hurt when they said red clothes
made my rosy cheeks too red
is ‘too red’ possible?
yeah, I knew that
I don’t wear much red anyway
without thought
we broke up
and I left red behind
new york city took hold
color felt young
my walls were grey
wardobe black
like an adult
color only in the bodega aisles
until I was a black blob
standing in a store on 17th
that wasn’t suffocating in grey
but exploding with unexpected color stories
my entire paycheck on 2 pillows
for my plain white bed
one bright magenta
one raspberry red
suddenly my room felt better
and the world brighter
and then it was chef whites
under fluorescent lights
the amber glow of heat lamps
black and white houndstooth
all a canvas
stained with the day’s color stories
turmeric, beet juice, tomato sauce splashes
monochromatic in & out of the kitchen
building connection to the white clothes
helped me start to remember color again
escaping west perspective changed
and so did feelings toward snow white
instead it was sand, cream, taupe
it was terracotta
it was creosote green
golden skin, orange wine
a sherbet sky that still set each night
starting to see color stories happen naturally again
not just the colors of pillows against walls
or my black clothes trying to prove something
but the first prickly pear
each salsa verde
the late sun’s apricot filter warming red rocks
through a colorless time
color slowly bringing me back to life
trying on new ones
but never pink
because it felt like stupidity
or a version girlhood I didn’t want
until I let go of it’s power
and started wearing it in an ironic way
realizing I love magenta
which led me to the candy red pants
that changed my course
wearing them felt all new, almost forbidden
and then it was a red sweatshirt
and a red dress
every compliment touching my heart
a color I lost track of
until there it was
a red lip
true scarlet red
realizing it was the perfect pairing
for my rosy cheeks
eyes that view the world through color
are lucky eyes to have